Carnivoo Chair changes

Last night’s Annual Meeting of the Smalltown and Dullbridge (SaD) Carnivoo Committee saw local homophobe Bill Old step down from his role as Chairman.

Mr Old incurred international wrath last year after it emerged that he had banned an entry from the Not Somerset LGBTQWERTY Parade Group (NSLGBTQWERTYPG) declaring that “It’s too gay”. Although he later issued an apology it was deemed by many to not be apologetic enough and his position as Chairman was on rocky ground.

Mr Old then buried his head in the sand and hoped it would all go away, but the NSLGBTQWERTYPG kept on and on and on and on about it and demanded his attendance at a meeting to discuss the matter to try to resolve the issues. Mr Old then issued a further apology some three months later but by then many of the Carnivoo Clubs in the area had also indicated their displeasure at his comments, which it was said had “brought Carnivoo into disrepute” .

Residents of Smalltown and Dullbridge were also distressed by the suggestion that they would have recoiled in horror and thrown rocks at any Carnivoo entry which featured men dressed as women, women dressed as men, bright rainbow colours, and singing and dancing.

Mr Old has now handed over the Chair to his sister, Miss Floraltree Old, although it is understood that, whilst she may occupy the chair during meetings, it will still be Mr Old pulling the strings.

Member of the NSLGBTQWERTYPG, Peeve Summer-Purple, said “During our meeting with Mr Old we laid out our demands which would see an end to our going on and on and on and on and on about our entry being banned from the Smalltown and Dullbridge Carnivoo. As well as a second apology we also insisted that Mr Old quit his role and stick to something that he can’t mess up.

We understand that his new role will see him deciding which entries will be allowed to participate in the SaD Carnivoo.

We came along to the meeting tonight to make sure that he did what we had told him to do – i.e. stand down as Chairman and I’m delighted to say that he has. Next week he will be donning a rainbow flag and taking part in our Diversity, Gender and Sexism Awareness course, which basically involves sitting in a cupboard watching repeats of ‘Are You Being Served?‘ on repeat, until he understands that his behaviour was wrong.

Mr Old was unavailable for comment.

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