PRUDE returns

Organisers of Smalltown and Dullbridge Pride – a Really Unique Diverse Event (PRUDE) have confirmed that the event will return to Chateau Gardens at the end of July.

A spokesperson from PRUDE said “We are delighted to be able to bring PRUDE back to Smalltown and can confirm there will be even more rainbows, unicorns and glitter. Come along and share the love for all things LGBTQWERTY.

We are also seeking sponsorship from local businesses keen to show their inclusivity as well as donations from members of the community who would like to show their support.

We have already received funding from other sources, but could do with more – have you seen the price of glitter nowadays?”

The announcement was met with horror by local heterosexual males scared of their own sexuality, with many questioning ‘When is Straight White Man day?’ and ‘Why is it always about them and their perversions. What about the rest of us, who like to leer at schoolgirls and imagine them giving us a good span…’ (Ed – this comment has been edited. This is a family news outlet.)

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