SCAM secures grant

The Smalltown Culture and Arts Manager (SCAM), Susie Cookbook, has been working extremely hard behind the scenes to justify her salary.

Ms Cookbook told members of the White Elephant Enclosure Mismanagement Committee “I am delighted to confirm that after many hours of work I have secured a grant from the Chernobyl-by-Sea Slush Fund, isn’t that wonderful?

I applied for a grant to enable us to offer events for the old people of Smalltown to give them something to look forward to, rather than just sitting around at home waiting to die.

I am pleased to announce that we will be receiving an absolutely massive grant of £2,994 to help achieve those aims.

The grant will be used to help fund the sessions, which will start in May. We will be offering activities as often as once a month on a Wednesday afternoon. The sessions will include a range of activities especially tailored for the over-65s.

My research shows that people in this age group enjoy gathering around a piano and singing ‘It’s a Long Way to Tipperary’ and ‘Don’t put your Daughter on the Stage, Mrs Worthington’, stamp collecting, playing charades, drinking tea, and the Black and White Minstrels. Therefore the sessions will incorporate these activities. Full details will be available at the WEE.

I am positive that these sessions will improve attendance numbers at the WEE by at least an extra two people per month.”

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