Staff at SomersetClive have returned to work this week following a two-week team building exercise at HMP Craptown Pallet.
SomersetClive Editor, Mr Clive Saint, Sir, revealed that all members of staff had been diagnosed with Smalltown and Dullbridge Fear, Anxiety and Crisis Epidemic Syndrome (SADFACES).
“Unfortunately the stress associated with reporting events at the Hayloft Road Palace Retirement Home for Bemused and Bewildered BeFuddled Party ex-Teachers (and Others), which led to the strike by members of SCANDALOUS (SomersetClive Against News Detailing All the Lies and OUtrageous Stupidity), spread rapidly amongst our staff, who became increasingly depressed by the work required.
As a result, it was felt that a team building exercise would be necessary to restore morale.
We all spent two weeks at HMP Craptown Pallet, where we learnt how to better cope with conditions in confinement.
The two week course employed adversion therapy, which included listening to Dictator Dullard’s long-winded ‘Addresses to the Nation’ on repeat until we became immune to the words “It was good”.
We were also able to regain our ability to laugh when faced with Councillors at Smalltown and Dullbridge Town Council voting to spend astronomical sums of money on ridiculous things. Something which had made us all highly susceptible to SaDFACES.
There were times when we felt that we couldn’t take any more, but we cheered ourselves up by repeating that life could be worse – If Chernobyl-by-Sea hadn’t taken over HMP Don’tins we could have been serving our time there.”
The SomersetClive staff have all agreed that they would rather spend time at Hayloft Road Palace than spend another minute in Craptown Pallet.
This really is great news! As a BeFuddled supporter I think you do a great job highlighting how useless they are.