First episode TONIGHT!

This week sees the start of the new unreality show ‘ I’m a SaD Councillor – Get Me A Chair’, as the Smalltown and Dullbridge (SaD) Town Council challengers for the title of ‘King or Queen of Hayloft Palace’ prepare to head into the Hayloft Road Palace Retirement Home for Bemused and Bewildered BeFuddled Party ex-Teachers (and Others) this evening.

Showing over three nights this week, contestants will be taking take part in the first Bloodsucker Challenges starting with the difficult ‘Set the Budget’ where they will be expected to look at long lists of numbers and work out how to divert more Council tax payer money to the White Elephant Enclosure, rather than spend the money on something more worthwhile.

There’s just time for SomersetClive to take a look at the remaining contestants.

As yet it is not known if Professional Town Councillor Mark Facelift will enter the show, as it is a long way from his home town of Fridgpond to Smalltown.

Cllr Saul Synn could bring his experience as a member of the SaDTC Town Unimprovements Committee to the contest, except he doesn’t have much because he’s usually listed amongst the names of absentees.

Despite being the only councillor who possibly understands the theory of income and expenditure, Cllr Al deValues, is not expected to have any input into the ‘Set the Budget’ challenge. He is unlikely to make amy recommendations other than to agree with Squire Teflon that the budget for the WEE should increase.

It is widely expected that Squire Teflon will go all out to win, as he’s lost so many similar competitions this year. He will be taking full advantage of the BeFuddled Party Councillors naivety to secure as much funding as possible for his favourite causes, as well as to get himself voted in as a representative on every committee and Working Group possible. A shoo-in to win the ever-popular-with-viewers eating challenge – where contestants are encouraged to hide any incriminating evidence by eating it – as Teflon has spent several hours eating newspapers to build up to this particular trial.

In-it-for-himself Party member Cllr Robert NotBothered will be spending most of the challenges desperately trying to remind the other contestants that Dullbridge actually exists and isn’t a figure of their imaginations. He will fail.

The Socialist Union’s Cllr Leftcalm only entered the contest as a joke and didn’t expect to get past the audition stage. He has since found that he is way out of his depth when it comes to discussing anything with Illiberal and BeFuddled Councillors and tries to avoid meeting them as much as possible. This experience will probably lead to him shouting “I’m a SaD Town Councillor – please accept my apologies” to get out of doing any of the Bloodsucker challenges.

Tune in tonight from 7.00pm at Hayloft Palace to see how the contestants get on with the first round of Bloodsucker Challenges taking place during the Town Unimprovements Committee Meeting.

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