
Sadgebore District Council has admitted that they are “totally baffled” by a large patch of missing sand from Smalltown Beach.
Spokesperson Blair Stagg said “It’s totally baffling. Yesterday afternoon there was an enormous stretch of beautiful golden sand and this morning it had gone. We would like to hear from anyone who has any information about the whereabouts of this sand.”
A large group of Crime Scene Investigators from Smalltown Police Station were spotted on the Beach, clutching buckets and spades as they tried to dig up any clues, with PC Flattfoote confirming the loss saying “It’s a complete mystery. Sand doesn’t normally just disappear like this and after exhaustive investigations we have concluded that it has been stolen.
If anyone has any information about the whereabouts of this missing sand then we ask them to please contact us at Smalltown Police Station, which will be open next Thursday.”
SomersetClive headed down to the beach to see if we could shed any light on the matter. We spoke to several residents before encountering Mr Harry Butt, who had witnessed the episode.
“I’m pretty sure that I saw about six members of the Carnivoo Committee down here, filling bags with sand. They took loads of it. Loads and loads. When I asked what they thought they were doing, one of them looked around furtively and said “We need lots of sand. Our Chairman has a very big head.”
I’m still not sure what was meant by that, because why would the Carnivoo Chairman want his head buried in sand?”
SomersetClive asked Carnivoo Chairman Bill Olds for a comment but were told “He’s really, really, really, really, really, really, really busy at the moment, but he needs to hold an urgent meeting sometime next month to get his words confirmed by the committee before he can respond. It definitely wasn’t his fault though. He hasn’t done anything wrong. Anyway, he can’t talk at the moment. His head is covered in sand.”