Smalltown’s Estate Agents have banded together to collude on figures which show that property prices in the area have increased by 300 percent.
A spokessmarmy for Greensleeves Ripoff Twunts said “We’ve been working with the other agents in the area for years to ensure that we all offer the same property valuations and commission rates and can now confirm that we’ve managed to elevate prices to such a degree that Smalltown is now a more expensive place to buy property than anywhere else in the UK.”
Sometime visitor to the town and semi-professional Councillor, Mark Facelift, said “At last some good news for home owners in the area. Although it’s not such good news for those of us who don’t own property or live in Smalltown, because it means we are now effectively priced out of the market.”
Demand for seaside properties has surged since the pandemic and with both Cornwall and Devon now completely full up with Londoners it’s down to Somerset to pick up the slack.
Property prices in Dullbridge haven’t increased, because the town isn’t by the sea and no one wants to live there.
And we get brassed off with the police helicopters flying over Dullbridge at all hours looking for “cannabis farms”. Specially when they can pick up a heroin dealer on almost any street corner – apart from the ones that have CCTV, anyway