Residents in Smalltown and Dullbridge have been warned that they may find themselves uncontrollably discussing the weather today.
The Department of Wind and Precipitation has confirmed that the area is likely to be hit by a tsunami of “Isn’t the weather dreadful?”, “It’s July. Where’s the sun?” and “Hold on to your hat, it’s blowing a gale out there.”
A spokescloud said “It is highly likely that we could see weather conditions in Smalltown and Dullbridge escalate very quickly and we are predicting that the first outpouring may well lead to instances of “I know, I’ve never seen so much rain.” and “We had summer in June. That’s it now.”.
It’s also entirely possible that there may even be an isolated “Awful isn’t it? I haven’t seen this much hot air since I attended a Smalltown and Dullbridge Town Council meeting.””
The DWP has said that it expects conditions to ease at around 6pm tonight, as residents return home from work and find they have no one to talk to.