The first meeting of the BeFuddled-controlled Smalltown and Dullbridge Town Council Planning and Scheming Department took place last night at the Hayloft Road Retirement Home for Bemused and Bewildered BeFuddled Party Ex-Teachers (and Others).
The meeting saw several Councillors scratching their heads and wondering what they were supposed to be doing as they discussed the proposals by the Two Step supermarket chain to install new signage as part of their plans to make unobtrusive changes to the outside of the property which lies in the Smalltown Conservation Area.
Eventually Cllr Patsy Knickers piped up “We have been waiting a long time for something to happen with this building, so I am delighted to have an opportunity to express an opinion. As a graduate of the Councillor Fencesitter School of Opinions I don’t really have an opinion and definitely don’t want to say anything that may be viewed as controversial, so I agree with whatever it is I need to agree with.”
Glowering at her from the other side of the room for daring to not express an opinion first Squire Teflon agreed saying “I agree with that opinion, mainly because to disagree could see this meeting drag on for hours and I would far rather be at the White Elephant Enclosure with my close-friend Mistress Bones watching Anne Wibblewobble.”
Two Step has claimed that the proposed gaudy window stickers and flashing neon signs will be ‘sympathetic to the area‘ whilst still being ‘visible from the moon‘.
Previous ideas for the old Smalltown Labour Exchange had led to an application for grant funding to secure the property for community use as a small business hub, as part of the Snalltown Revolution Scheme, but was rejected because we aren’t allowed nice things.