Warning weather could trigger eruption

The Department of Wind and Precipitation (DWP) has issued a warning to Smalltown and Dullbridge residents advising that the area is in for some ‘pretty awful weather‘ over the next few days.

A spokesbarometer said “Those little lines on the map are getting closer together, and we think that means the weather is going to get pretty awful.

We don’t think it’s going to go as far as snow, but you never know, so we would advice all editors of news media outlets to start preparing those all important snow stories now.

What we do think is that it’s going to be a bit rainy and a bit windy. There is also a very strong possibility that Mount Teflon, which has been quiet since last September, could erupt once more.

Several residents had already contacted SomersetClive after hearing a bad-tempered rumble last night which emanated from the more-or-less defunct and impotent volcano.

Vulcanologists have confirmed that Mount Teflon has been rumbling away quietly to itself for several months and has been building slowly towards its next major eruption. Whether or not the current gurgling noises will develop into something more substantial is uncertain, but residents are warned to be on the lookout for a large explosion followed by a spurt of childish, vile, bullying and largely incomprehensible emissions.

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