The Year Ahead with Mystic Mick

Smalltown’s psychic psychopath Mystic Mick, together with his Japanese spirit guide Hero Shima gives us the lowdown on events in April.

RESIDENTS fail to see the funny side as they open their post on April 1st to discover their first Council Tax bill for the next financial year. Faced with maximum-allowable increases from the All-New-Yet-Unimproved Somerset Cuonty Council, Somerset Fire Brigade and Somerset Police, plus a 94% increase from Smalltown and Dullbridge Town Council, many residents declare themselves bankrupt. Phil Crivens, Council Leader at ANYUSCC, comments “Rather them than us.”

FOODBANKS in Smalltown and Dullbridge see an unprecedented request for basic food items such as bread. When news of the struggles facing residents reaches Dictator Dullard she asks “Why can’t they eat cake? I like a slice of cake with my tea. It’s good to eat cake.”

THE WHITE Elephant Enclosure sees even less tickets sold than ever before. Squire Teflon blames this on the BeFuddled Party increasing Council Tax to pay for the humongous WEE Budget.

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