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Smalltown and Dullbridge (SaD) Town Councillor Jim Rabbithole has defied instruction from Dictator Kelsey Dullard and Deputy Dictator Cruella Sherry to issue his personal thanks to a variety of organisations in the towns.
Speaking to anyone who would listen, i.e. not many people, Rabbithole said “I’d like to thank all those in Smalltown and Dullbridge who worked so hard to bring a bit of Christmas cheer to our community.
As we face ever increasing costs, particularly in relation to Council Tax as we strive to bail out my beloved BeFuddled Party at the All-New-Yet-Unimproved Somerset Cuonty Council, more and more people will be turning to food banks to survive.
It’s heart-warming to see members of our community working together, without any assistance whatsoever from Smalltown and Dullbridge Town Council. I’d particularly like to thank The George Hotel, whose unofficial Christmas Tree raised funds for the foodbank, Queen Ethelred’s School for their donation, and Tescoes, who donated over 9,400 meals, and everyone else who has participated in giving to so many local vulnerable families.
It wasn’t just food donations either. Funeral Directors U. R. Buried donated two Christmas trees to two of the local food banks, giving local people, who would otherwise not have seen a Christmas Tree, the chance to really feel some festive cheer.
Meanwhile, my fellow Town Councillors willing wasted over £7,000 on Christmas Trees for Smalltown and Dullbridge. It’s a complete travesty and I’m truly ashamed that we didn’t try harder to source a cheaper alternative. To make the situation worse, the Smalltown Christmas Tree spent some time flat out on the ground, having succombed to the high winds which are a constant feature of Jetty Street.
I really don’t understand the point of the SaDTC Christmas Tree. It didn’t form part of the festive celebrations, nor did it raise any funds (unlike the George Tree). I would much prefer to do away with the SaD tree and go back to the way things were, before Squire Teflon insisted the tree be moved to Jetty Street to attract shoppers to his close-friend and employer Mistress Bones Newspaper and Tat Emporium.”
It is understood that Cllr Rabbithole has now retreated into his burrow for fear of recriminations from Dictator Dullard, Deputy Sherry and Squire Teflon.