The Year Ahead with Mystic Mick

Mystic Mick, the eerily accurate and world famous reader of stars, palms, tea-bags and books continues his look into the future of Smalltown and Dullbridge.


HEADMISTRESS, Mayor and Dictator Cllr Kelsey Dullard will consume her 994,000th cup of tea. In the interests of Climate Rescue it will be prepared using the same tea-bag which has been used for the previous 993,000 cups of tea. The water will be heated by harnessing the energy from 94 static bicycles, pedalled by members of the SaD Young Person Town Council.

THE latest figures for the White Elephant Enclosure will show income of £245,000 for the month of February. The White Elephant Enclosure Mismanagement Committee will ecstatically crow about the success of the venue. Later on in the year it will be revealed that the figure had been entered incorrectly, and the actual income was £24.50. However, members of the WEE Mismanagement Committee will agree not to mention this ever again.

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