Council confirm campaign

Smalltown and Dullbridge Town Council’s Town Unimprovements Committee has agreed to spend £249 on a new campaign to get tougher on dog poo.

Councillor Jim Rabbithole said ““Residents in Smalltown have been moaning again about the large number of dog owners who are not picking up after their dogs, especially in the evenings when they think they can away with it because it’s dark and no one can see them.

A previous campaign to highlight the problem by spraying the offending deposits with luminous fluorescent paint didn’t really work to remind owners to pick up after their dog, but it did help to prevent other members of the public stepping in it and spreading it over a wider area.

As residents are making such a fuss about it I’d suggest that, rather than us having to look into the issue more deeply, we ask them to tell us where they think the spraying should take place. This will save us valuable thinking time.

We would need to purchase cans of non-removable luminous fluorescent paint, which we can then hand over to the next person to complain. We can’t expect our SaD Town Rangers or the All-New-Yet-Unimproved Somerset Cuonty Council’s Dog Wardens to do it, because they are far too busy driving around in their vans looking the other way.

I also think that we should put up new posters reminding dog owners to do their duty. These would add nicely to the ever-increasing plethora of signs around Smalltown.

I have sourced a supplier who is willing to produce the posters and I’d like to suggest that we use a photograph of Dictator Dullard. I have noticed that her eyes follow you around the room and her disapproving glare when told that the tea bags have run out is enough to scare anyone into behaving.

I have spoken to Dictator Dullard about this and she is more than happy for her image to be used, as it means yet another photo opportunity. In return Dictator Dullard has insisted that we run a lovely competition for local school children to come up with ideas for even more posters. She feels that this will help educate the children and we all know how important education is to Dictator Dullard.”

SaD Town Council later confirmed that the new campaign will only be run in Smalltown, with a SaDTC spokesperson saying “It’s too late for Dullbridge. It’s already a sh*thole.”

The new campaign will run for a week once every three months or until the luminous fluorescent paint runs out.

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