ANYUSCC confirm selection

The All-New-Yet-Unimproved Somerset Cuonty Council has confirmed that they have finished selecting suitable residents to form the panel for the Smalltown Town Bored.

ANYUSSC spokesperson Queenie Grabaseat said “We were absolutely inundated with applications to join the Smalltown Town Bored from residents, businesses and people just passing through. Hundreds and thousands of people all saying the same thing.

They all felt that the reason for Smalltown’s decline is due to the previous lack of interest and support from Sadgebore District Council and the previous Somerset Cuonty Council.

Practically every application that we received made mention of the fact that Sadgebore in particular had failed to contribute any money to fund improvements in the town, and that they had allowed developers to build on every patch of green land in nearby Dullbridge, before shunting residents of Fridgpond with Anti-Social Behaviour Orders into the houses which, whilst mainly contributing to the decline of Dullbridge, had had a similar knock-on effect in Smalltown.

Some mentioned that contentious planning applications in Smalltown, which Smalltown and Dullbridge Town Council had lodged objections to, had routinely been approved by Sadgebore planners. Completely ignoring the comments from residents.

Ideas to bring visitors and residents into Smalltown town centre have in the past been stifled by Squire Teflon working with his close-friend and employer Mistress Bones. A prime example of this was the proposal to hold a week long Intergalactic Food, Drink and Craft Marketfair on the Seafront, with the Squire using the naivety of the BeFuddled Party Councillors on Smalltown and Dullbridge Town Council to object to the idea before using his influence as a Sadgebore District Councillor to nail down the lid on that particular coffin.

We have managed to whittle down the applications to 10 people, all of whom we believe have been the least critical of our administrations and we will be listening to their ideas for improvements for Smalltown, before completely ignoring them.”

The new Town Bored is expected to meet for the first time in the very near future, where they will be doing an awful lot of thinking and talking about ideas for the future of Smalltown, before discovering that there is no magic pot of money to help achieve anything.

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