Media whip up frenzy

National and local news outlets are whipping the public up into a frenzy by warning of dire shortage of fruit and vegetables, with some publications using photographs of the same empty shelves taken from different angles to illustrate the scale of the problem.

The shortage of imported out-of-season products such as strawberries, tomatoes, peppers and asparagus has been caused by poor weather in countries with warmer climes, coupled with price increases in the available stocks, which many supermarkets are refusing to pay.

“You are all going to STARVE” scream the headlines as editors scramble for clicks on their websites.

Thus far, no one has pointed out that these shortages do not affect British grown in-season products such as potatoes, onions, leeks, carrots, cauliflower, celeriac, parsnips and apples, all of which are still plentiful.

Stocks of Albanian Whiskey and tea bags are unaffected.

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