Laying down in pastures new

The Bishop of Smalltown, His Holeyjumperness and the Honourable His Bishopness Gordon Twitty has announced his intention to hang up his surplice and pointy hat and retire from Bibling.

Speaking live from the pulpit, his Bishopness said “I came to Smalltown in 1894, and immediately set to work smiting Satan’s demons. There was a lot of work to do, the heathens were running amok and I hope to be remembered for my work setting up the Smalltown Witch Trials. I have worked tirelessly since then to spread the word of the Lord amongst the residents of Smalltown. I had hoped to extend my mission to Dullbridge, but even the Lord himself has concluded that it’s a lost cause.

My wife and I have now cast ourselves out and will be heading to lie down in pastures green. I am doing a new thing and will make a way in the wilderness. We?plan to retire to a little village, which still has a small bakery where we will be able to purchase our daily bread – we shall want for nothing!”

It has been confirmed that applications for a replacement are now open and, in the meantime, Their Archbishopnesses Karen Elderflowerwine and Maureen Strawwood will be in charge.

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