RRaRRa winner announced

Somerset’s Community Recycling and Processing (CRAP) has announced the winner of their Reuse Refuse and Reinvent Rubbish awards.

The first prize was awarded to Smalltown and Dullbridge (SaD) Town Council for their clever scheme which has found new ways to reuse all the Illiberal Party Councillors and Candidates who didn’t get elected in May.

“We are really pleased to have been recognised with this award, ” Smalltown Temporary Executive Administration Manager (STEAM), Con Slurs, told SomersetClive. “Trying to find something to do with all the local Illiberal Party members who failed to get elected was a huge challenge, especially given that there were so many other Illiberal Party members throughout Sadgebore and Somerset who were also unelected.

However, we have to give credit to Squire Teflon, who suffered a huge loss after all of his chairs were stolen. His idea to invite all the failed councillors around to his bedsit and get them to crouch down on their hands and knees so that he has somewhere to sit of an evening, was inspired. Some of them did complain at first, but his close-friend Mistress Bones was able to reassure them and tell them not to worry because they’d soon get used to being on their knees in front of the Squire.

Obviously there were enough failed Councillors to provide Squire Teflon with a full set of dining chairs, and it swiftly became apparent that he didn’t have room for all of them, so we’ve come up with a secondary scheme to make use of them.

During the height of the Traveller Season we will be spraying the ex-Councillors with grey paint and lying them down in front of vulnerable gateways to prevent trespassers from gaining entry to council-owned land.”

SaDTC saw off stiff competition from Sadgebore District Council, with their expensive playground equipment created from Cllr McGoat’s old Y-fronts.

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