Smalltown run over by MAMILS

Cyclist takes a gulp at the finish line.

Several ambulances lined up on Smalltown Promenade on Saturday as residents gathered to watch the end of the ‘Boast the Most’ cycle race.

The race, which sees middle-aged men clad in figure-hugging lycra, compete to be the first to cycle a very long way and still be able to walk afterwards, took place in monsoon conditions and saw several competitors crash out with hypothermia.

Miss Ethel Ready (96) was one of the spectators who needed treatment at the finish line, she later commented “It was terrible. I thought I’d be safe, but the lycra was so tight in places that I didn’t know where to look. Sitting on a bench near the finish line was not a good idea, I very nearly lost an eye.”

Her friend Miss Edith Mead (98) agreed saying “Cycling is a sport which needs those involved to be super-felicitous and at the peak of physical fitness We came out hoping for a glimpse of the cyclists toned attributes and we weren’t disappointed.”

Headmistress and Town Mayor, Kelsey Dullard, together with the Town Shouter welcomed the competitors over the finish line. Councillor Dullard said “I’d like to welcome you all to Smalltown. It’s fantastic to see you here and wonderful to see your many strengths in all their glory.”

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