Could you write for Clive?

As we approach the traditional ‘Silly Season’ for news publications, our Editor, Mr Clive Saint Sir, has announced the rare opportunity for a new reporter to join our ranks in the SomersetClive office.

With reporter Nigella Garage currently embedded deep behind enemy lines in Dullbridge, ace-cub reporter Steve Gull due to take a sabbatical to promote his masterpiece ‘Love in a Smalltown’ and Emma and Marina still ‘working to rule’ until their demands for Equal Rights for Women in the SomersetClive Office are met, a lack of coverage during the coming months may see a dearth of stories during what is normally the slow-news season.

The successful applicant will need to be able to answer yes to the following:

  • Can you hold a pen?
  • The right way up?
  • Do you have your finger on the pulse of anyone living in Smalltown and/or Dullbridge?
  • Can you stay awake during long meetings, where those around you are drifting off?
  • Can you demonstrate a willingness to work whenever Mr Editor, Sir says you must.
  • The ability to string a sentence together would be advantageous, but not essential.

In return SomersetClive offers a generous remuneration package of £0.00 (pro-rata) together with attractive benefits including

  • Free NHS health care
  • The chance to meet leading celebrities in Smalltown and Dullbridge (including Mr Editor, Sir.)
  • Freebies given by advertisers in exchange for free promotion (which no one else in the office wants).
  • No holidays and absolutely no expenses for replacing shoe leather.

For more information or to apply for the position please contact Mr Editor, Clive Saint, Sir at

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *