Smalltown and Dullbridge Town Shouter, Oliver Curry was guest of honour at the Smalltown Boat Race on Saturday and was asked to judge the ‘Best Decorated Rear Commodore’ competition.
Surveying the line up of Decorated Rear Commodores in front of him, Oliver shouted “Oyez, Oyez. I am honoured to be here, to select the Best Decorated Rear Commodore in Smalltown! It’s been a difficult competition to judge with such a strong line up of one entrant, but after a great deal of thought I am pleased to announce that I have chosen Smalltown’s Rear Commorodore, Mike Secretary, as my worthy winner.”
Speaking to SomersetClive, Rear Commodore Secretary said “I’ve known Oliver for a number of years. When I was Mayor of Smalltown and Dullbridge we attended many events together, so I’m not surprised that he’s chosen me as his favourite Rear Commodore.”
SomersetClive understands that a second Rear Commodore also attempted to enter the competition but was disqualified when it was discovered that the competitor was actually a heavily-disguised Squire Teflon.
Wearing a sailing cap and deck shoes, Teflon was overheard saying “Look, I’m also a former Mayor of Smalltown and Dullbridge. I’ve had a rough couple of months, losing titles all over the place, and I just want some recognition. Please?”
The real Rear Commodore commented “This competition was only open to Rear Commodores and not Mayors. If this was a competition to find the Best Former Mayor in Smalltown then he would have been allowed to enter. He still wouldn’t have won though.”