Lady Brassy dictates again


Buoyed by having successfully ignored all complaints levelled at her Smalltown Shops (SS) group, regarding the lack of promised FREE cake for ALL, Lady Penelope Brassy of Easton-under-Water has now incurred the wrath of the entire population of Somerset.

Taking to the SS AceCrook page, and posting a photo of the successful Titanium Jubilee Parade entry from an amalgamation of Fridgpond Carnivoo clubs, Lady Brassy wasted no time in a further display of ignorance.

IT’S a FLOAT.” she wrote. “Carts are horse drawn .. Floats are dragged along behind tractors .. or very, very similar.

Beyond that there is absolutely no room for discussion.

From now on, anyone caught calling these FLOATS ‘carts’ will face the firing squad. I have spoken and you will adhere to my rules.”

A Carnivoo spokesgenerator said “She’s really not the brightest bulb on the cart, is she? There’s not many people who can claim to have alienated all of Somerset with just three words.

She obviously has NO idea of Carnivoo history or tradition. Every fule knoweth that traditionally the carts were drawn by horses. The first Carnivoo was held in 1605 and we didn’t have tractors in the olden days. They were carts then and they are carts now.

I wouldnt expect anything better from someone in Easton, though. The town has only been part of Carnivoo for fifty years and the residents have always had ideas above their station and have been trying to gentrify it ever since.

Once we have all recovered from our weekend in London we will be gathering our pitchforks and standing outside Lady Brassy’s shop in Smalltown, demanding an apology.

The entire Carnivoo circuit towns are furious that anyone should even attempt to dictate how we run our world-famous Carnivoo and insist that we are in the wrong calling them ‘carts’. Who does she think she is?”

The latter question is one that has been on the lips of many people over the last few weeks.

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