What’s on

At the White Elephant Enclosure.

Tickets have sold very, very, very slowly for tonight’s screening of ‘The Strange Case of Dr Squire and Mr Teflon’ with less than a third of the tickets sold for tonight’s performance and only 18 sold for tomorrow.

Even the Smalltown Culture and Arts Manager’s (SCAM) offer of discounted tickets for schools booking for groups of 25 or more has found no takers.

The SCAM told us “I’ve tried to bring some high-brow entertainment to Smalltown, but it seems the residents are mostly heathens who aren’t the least bit interested in culture. It’s either that or they are taking advantage of ‘Saver Day’ at the Blitz Cinema and booking tickets for ‘Batman’ at the cost of £4.00, which is £15.00 cheaper than our tickets.”

SomersetClive understands that with only 18 tickets sold for tomorrow’s show this won’t cover the cost of the SCAM’s weekly White Elephant Enclosure Biscuit and Lunch Expenses (WEEBLE), let alone heating and lighting the auditorium, so the performance will be conducted entirely in the dark and residents are advised to bring their own duvets.

Details of the performance can be found here.

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