Mayor announces Community Champion Citizen Citations winners

Mayor of Smalltown and Dullbridge, Mark Facelift, has announced the winners of the 2022 Community Champion Citizen Citations.

“I am delighted to announce this year’s winners. This year we had a very high standard of candidates nominated and the decision was quite difficult, but following consultation with my fellow councillors we feel we’ve picked those who have consistently contributed to the community.

Jan Popoff received an award for tirelessly promoting the history of Smalltown and for her donation of the Smalltown Shed (available for hire at very reasonable rates).

Bill Old for his indefatigable work in organising and promoting the Smalltown and Dullbridge Carnivoo and for supplying over-zealous marshalls to ensure residents conformed with Martial Law during the pandemic.

Lady Brassy of Easton-under-Water for her time spent asking for Town Council funding on behalf of Squire Teflon and Mistress Bones to organise Ignite Smalltown and other events.

Local media tycoon Mike Maxman was rewarded for his continued ability to never write anything negative about the Town Council.

Vigilante Wayne Bruce for his single-handed campaign to ‘clean up Dullbridge’ by picking up as much litter as possible.

Squire Teflon was nominated for his kindness during the pandemic, when he selflessly ordered takeaways to be delivered to the less fortunate of the parah.

Close-friend Mistress Bones was rewarded for working so hard to ensure the continued success of the annual Chateau Park ‘Fate Worse Than Death’ Jamboree and save it for posterity, as well as using the money raised to purchase a new defibrillator for the Town.

The Mayor continued “I will be delighted to welcome award winners, past and present, to the awards ceremony at The White Elephant Enclosure on Friday, which we’ve managed to hire for a cut-price rate because otherwise it would be empty. will be enjoying a buffet of takeaway pizza and, at Squire Teflon’s request, several bottles of Albanian Whisky.”

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