Further weather update

The Department of Wind and Precipitation has issued a further update regarding meteorological conditions for the Smalltown and Dullbridge area.

“We’ve braved the conditions today and have been out to check the Seaweed Weather Indicator Gadget (SWIG) and we can definitely confirm that there will be weather today.”

“We therefore continue to advise everyone to stay indoors until we issue the ‘all clear’, as this weather has the potential to bring devastation to the area.”

A spokesperson for Smalltown and Dullbridge Town Council said “We are grateful to the DWP for keeping us informed of the current situation and for keeping our nefarious council activities off the front pages. Long may it continue.”

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