Weather update

(Editor – As every other news publication is issuing dire weather warnings every thirty minutes, we need to do the same. Can someone get on this immediately?)

Hurricane Ernie is threatening to bring wind speeds of over 194 mph to the Smalltown and Dullbridge area early tomorrow and you’d be “Wise to stay indoors” is the latest update from the Department of Wind and Precipitation (DWP).

The weather warning has been upgraded to RED, which means that trampolines and trees are expected to be amongst the casualties. Mickey Fish of the DWP told SomersetCliveWith Mount Teflon teetering on the brink of another eruption we could well see tsunami conditions in the area and it’s vital that residents take steps to protect themselves. If there’s Hemingway that you can tether down yourselves, your family, your pets and your trampolines then we recommend you take those steps now to mitigate the disaster that is about to hit.”

Unless you genuinely need to be out on the streets delivering election propaganda then the advice is to stock up on soup and keep windows and doors shut. All schools and businesses in the area will be closed, so there’s nowhere to go anyway.

We cannot stress enough that the importance of weather warnings being issued regarding Ernie are taken seriously.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *