Victory all round!

The Smalltown Crest, which doesn’t have anything to do with the story, but it’s a pretty picture and our photo editor is running out of ideas.

Now the facade has come down on any pretence of actually working together to deliver yesterday’s Universe’s BEST Ever Christmas Lights Switch On To End All Switch Ons Extravaganza With School And Tubular Bells On both the Smalltown Shops (SS) and Smalltown Chamber of Trade (SCOT) have claimed victory over one another.

Commenting on the SS LotsCrap group Lady Penelope Brazen-Brassy-Bashful-Boredom of Easton-under-Water was cock a hoop. ‘We showed that SCOT that the SS has the power in Smalltown. Look at all the people milling up and down Main Street. We never got that during previous Ignite Smalltown days.’

The puppet mistress and allegedly the illiberal party’s expected candidate for the SaD Town Council vacancy in Dullbridge, Mistress Julie jumpmy Bones pulled the strings of Lady 4Bs with a cherry on top. “We had so many people in town it didn’t matter that we cut the capacity of the High Street car park in half for the day so a relative of mine could play a poorly attended gig in the drizzle, funded from our SaD Town Council grant”

However, SomersetClive understands all is not well amongst the SS members, with many claiming that as a consequence of all the running up and down Main Street, potential customers were left so exhausted they ended up buying very little. Local resident Jan Popoff commented “They would have had more success with a competition for who had the highest step count”

(Editor – our reporter is claiming expenses for new shoe leather – don’t push it)

Meanwhile over at SCOT which had a well organised and attended event with its successful Pig Roast and well stocked stage, despite all the attempts by the Squire, the mistress, the Lady and their accessories to undermine them, they reflect on a job quietly well done.

However, what they intend do with 94,000 left over Mince Pies remains to be seen.

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