Smalltown Shops declare war

Cheese or No Cheese?

Revelling in its new found position as the mouthpiece of Squire Teflon and his powerful close-friend Mistress Julie (JumpMy) Bones, the SS today has declared war on the award winning, popular, successful and pleasing Smalltown Cheese Festival.

Overheard blowing her own trumpet by a SomersetClive reporter, Lady Penelope Brazen-Brassy-Bashful of Easton-under-Water launched a withering tirade against Margo Farmhouse-Kitchener and team.

Lady Penelope Brazen-Brassy-Bashful said “The SS intends to prohibit this event in 2022. The SS doesn’t need the hassle of all the extra customers this event brings in to Smalltown to our failing businesses. Custom is good enough on bank holidays to keep the lights on for a few more days. We don’t care if SaD residents like the event as they don’t visit our shops anyway.”

When SomersetClive added these comments to the SS LotsCrap message group Mistress Teflon jumped in to defend her puppet. “We can’t give the residents of Smalltown what they want when we can’t even give them what they need. We illiberals know what’s best for these radical trailblazing upstarts.”

Responding to the SS claims, Margo Farmhouse-Kitchener stated “Smalltown centre always has been such a welcoming host and we have received such support for our cheeses from Smalltown residents and visitors. We Caerphilly plan our events for maximum benefit. It would be an edam shame if we are thrown out of our hometown by the SS in 2022.”

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