Due to the forthcoming festive phenomenon, a three mile vehicular exclusion zone has been placed around Smalltown.
All roads in the area will be closed to traffic between 06.00hrs to midnight on Saturday. This is to allow visitors to the events to have a really difficult time getting there, with as many people as possible being encouraged to give up and go home.
Any vehicles remaining in the area will be napalmed by a Carnivoo Marshal.
A diversion is in place, which involves a tortuous route of 94 miles.