Artist’s Impression of what the snow may look like

It’s definitely going to snow!!! No, really!!! A weather website that regularly makes up clickbait weather reports has announced that it might snow at some point in the next three months somewhere, possibly within 250 miles of Smalltown and Dullbridge, though possibly not. regularly makes up terrifying warnings of apocalyptic weather approaching as it gets them a fraction of a penny every time you visit their website, and here at SomersetClive we lap it up. The threat of a white hell descending on Smalltown and Dullbridge is actually miniscule as we haven’t seen anything more than five minutes of sleet this century, but we find that made-up weather predictions get our readers on Faceache frothing at the mouth and encourages them to send us the abusive messages which are the morale booster SaD’s residents need.

SomersetClive would encourage our readers to rush out and buy a snow shovel from a local hardware store, but there isn’t a proper one anymore thanks to rampant profiteering by property magnates. Try a ‘German Supermarket’. And not because they advertise with us. Honest.

Following the warning SaDTC has invested £1,994 in a new shovel of its own for Smalltown after a competitive tendering process they didn’t tell anyone about in advance. Speaking about this important expenditure in infrastructure SaD Cllr Squire Teflon added that Dullbridge can be gridlocked for all he cares.

A grant application for a broom to the Chernobyl-by-Sea Local Slush Fund may follow in 2023.

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