Some of our readers may be wondering why the news is so slow today. We can now exclusively reveal that the entire office is currently suffering from a very strange phenomena. Known in medical circles as ‘Dipsomanic Rough-as-a-badger Under-the-weather Never-again Condition’ (DRUNC) the problem is contagious and has spread through the staff like wildfire.
It is no way connected to the reopening of the Sad and Desperate public house last night, which was attended by all staff members who took full advantage of the free alcohol which was available to all members of the media in exchange for a glowing review.
We are currently unable to supply the aforementioned glowing review as we are all still DRUNC. However, we remain hopeful that this story, together with a few others which may or may not be more interesting, will make it onto the website at some point today.
Meanwhile if you could all keep the noise to a minimum that would be great.