Mystic Mick and his Japanese Spirit Guide, Hero Shima, know exactly what is in store for Smalltown and Dullbridge residents this year.
June
THE WHITE Elephant Enclosure records its biggest ever loss. The Smalltown Culture and Arts Manager (SCAM), Susie Cookbook, explains to the WEE Mismanagement Committee that, whilst it may look like a loss on paper, it definitely isn’t and they should never believe everything they see, especially when it comes to income and expenditure. The Committee are delighted when she tells them “It has been a great month and we’ve seen over 4 people use the WEE.”
SQUIRE Teflon’s close-friend and employer Mistress Bones and Lady Brassy of Easton-under-Water, unelected leaders of the Smalltown Shops (SS) Group, hold their very first ‘SS on Manoeuvres Market’. All traders in Main Street are banned from opening their shops and instead, must set up stall under a gazebo on Smalltown Promenade. Several traders are seen struggling against the strong wind to keep their gazebos on the ground. Lady Brassy says “My SS on Manoeuvres Market has been fabulous, fabulous, fabulous. Simply divine, divine, divine. Okay, we may have lost a few traders to the High, high, high winds, but you have to expect a teeny tiny minute number of casualties when you do something like this. But that’s okay, I’ve been looking for a new, new, new shop for my next new incredible, incredible, incredible venture and now I have a choice of premises. It really is a win, win, win.”
DEPUTY Dictator Cruella Sherry is spotted leaving the Hayloft Road Palace Retirement Home for Bemused and Bewildered BeFuddled Party ex-Teachers (and Others) clutching several files marked ‘Top Secret Plan for Domination’. I’m sorry, but Hero Shima says he can’t yet see what the Top Secret Plan for Domination’ is, but when Squire Teflon hears the news he will say “I love a dominant woman and as you know, I’ve always liked Cruella. She’s grear.”