Fridgpond Illiberal Group has announced the name of their chosen one for the job of Prospective Parliamentary Candidate for the Smalltown and Dullbridge, Fridgpond Unitary Constituency (SaDFUC), with the lucky person announced as Lord Rashly Pox.
Lord Pox is a former Illiberal Member of the Eurozone Parliament, who lost his job thanks to Horace Monsoon’s campaign to keep Johnny Foreigner out of the UK. Lord Pox has been seeking gainful employment ever since.
Lord Pox lives in Brizzle, but has insisted that he has a second cousin, thirty-three times removed on his Great-Great-Great Grandmother’s side who may possibly have once lived in Somerset.
When asked if he was planning to move into the SaDFUC area Lord Pox said “What? You are joking, I hope? Me? Move to Fridgpond? That’s about as likely as me actually winning the election.”
SomersetClive asked Lord Pox what he thinks he can offer voters in Smalltown and Dullbridge and he told us “I don’t know yet. I’ve only just got the job, besides it’s Fridgpond isn’t it? What do these other places have to do with it?”
After we explained that Smalltown and Dullbridge will be part of the new constituency, Lord Pox said “Ah. Right. THAT Smalltown and Dullbridge. I thought you meant the other Smalltown and Dullbridge. Now I know exactly where you mean. May I refer you to my previous answer. Thank you. Question time is now over.”
Squire Teflon said “I know residents of Smalltown and Dullbridge will be devastated that I didn’t get selected, but I know that my good friend Rashley is the best man for the job and I knew I wouldn’t be able to compete with him.
Rashley has a vast wealth of real business experience, not just as a paperboy. Although he has never saved a White Elephant Enclosure for the Nation at vast cost, nor wasted loads more money on a World-Record breaking Ice Rink and Penguin Pool to keep in his love-interests good books.”