I have been contacted by several residents asking me why Smalltown and Dullbridge (SaD) Town Council Town Council haven’t discussed the approach made by Blitz Cinema owner Padraig Irishh offering to run the White Elephant Enclosure (WEE) on behalf of the Council.
Mr Irishh contacted the Council back in January, just after Deputy Dictator Cllr Sherry had secretly commissioned the Top Secret Consultants to write a Top Secret Report to help Councillors understand ‘What is a White Elephant Enclosure’.
At the time Deputy Dictator Sherry confirmed that the offer had been received, but that she wanted to wait until she had received the Top Secret Report before allowing further discussion to take place, but she would allow Councillors to discuss it during the June SaDTC Full Council meeting.
If the people complaining that Mr Irishh has been ignored look at the agenda for this meeting, they will see that Councillors will be discussing the matter next Monday.
In fact, Mr Irishh’s offer is scheduled to be discussed by Councillors after they have agreed to the proposal from the WEE Mismanagement Committee to approve the employment of a Smalltown Provisional Arts Manager (SPAM), who will be in charge of implementing the recommendations included in the report.
To some people this might seem like it’s a foregone conclusion that the WEE will continue to be run by SaDTC, I can understand the reasoning behind this. How can Councillors possibly discuss Mr Irishh helping SaDTC out by taking the WEE off of their hands when they have already agreed to continue running the WEE themselves and haven’t discussed this approach during a White Elephant Enclosure Panel (WEEP) meeting?
Mr Irishh’s expression of interest came as a complete surprise to the White Elephant Enclosure Panel (WEEP), convened to discuss how to keep hold of the WEE and make it sound like a good idea. As such Deputy Dictator Sherry decided not to bother contacting Mr Irishh for further information and the discussion on Monday will see Councillors discuss the best way to say “Thanks, but no thanks”.
I realise that some residents may be dismayed at this news, because most people believe that Mr Irishh’s approach is the lifeline the WEE needs. However, last year was the first year that the BeFuddled Party were in charge of the WEE, so I believe it’s only fair that they should be given the chance to spend the next 10 years trying to make it a success.
Squire Teflon and his Illiberal Party colleagues were afforded the opportunity to spend 10 years trying to achieve this, without succeeding, and it’s only fair that the BeFuddleds be given the same chance.
If you look at the recommendations made by the Consultants you will see that they have come up with all the ideas that have previously been suggested and implemented by the various Smalltown Culture and Arts Managers (SCAMs) over the years, and which haven’t worked, but this doesn’t necessarily mean that if they keep on doing the same things which have seen the SaDTC subsidy soar every year, nothing will change.
This time the ideas suggested have been made by consultants, to whom SaDTC has paid a Top Secret fee, rather than by a SCAM, so it’s only right that SaDTC implement the changes necessary. Most of which aren’t actually changes, so I’m sure things will carry on as before, which is how we BeFuddleds like it. Doing something different could lead to us having to get down off our fences and make a decision. And we really don’t want to have to do that
I am very proud of my protégé, Deputy Dictator Cllr Sherry. As the top graduate from my Fencesitter’s School of Politics, she listened very carefully to my lectures in which I explained what the WEE means to me and why it is important that SaDTC keep it under their control.
In case you are unaware, my father was employed as the marketing manager at the Smalltown Suburban District Council, and was therefore a Very Important Person (almost as important as me). As part of his job one of the things he had to promote was the WEE, so I have personal, emotional and irrational reasons for keeping the WEE and I believe it’s well worth the £1 in every £5 subsidy paid by Council tax payers. What else are we going to do with all that money?
I am sure that once Smalltown and Dullbridge residents see how the BeFuddleds plan to keep on doing the same things with no hope of success, they will lose the will to live and stop complaining.