The Smalltown and Dullbridge Town Council Town Unimprovements Committee has finally set the cogs in motion on the first step to honouring Former Mayor of Smalltown and Dullbridge, His Royal Highness, Lord Admiral Emperor Nelson Jones, First Duke of Smalltown MBE, OBE and Knight of the Living Dead’s last request.
Ninety four- time Mayor of Smalltown and Dullbridge, Nelson Jones, currently best remembered for having to ask members of the public “Do you know who I am?”, had left a small sum in his will with a request that it be spent on the erection of a new Town Clock, with a large brass plaque dedicated to the glory of its benefactor.
The legacy was last discussed by SaD Town Council in July 2018 by the leading Illiberal Councillors at the time, with Cllrs Janet NotBothered and Squire Teflon agreeing that they would support a railway station platform clock close to the water fountain in Jetty Street, which Former Mayor etc. Nelson had commissioned and which he had indicated in his will was his preferred site.
However Cllr Fencesitter had suggested that a better site would be somewhere out of the way on South Esplanade and that a sundial would be a modern alternative to a clock, thus bypassing all of Former Mayor etc. Nelson’s wishes.
Cllr Dick Trolley went even further and raised the possibility of installing a “Victorian-themed arch at the top of the jetty, incorporating the clock, which would visible from the car park, beach and moon.”
And that was the last anyone ever heard of either the clock or the arch. Until February this year, only a mere seven years since Former Mayor etc. Nelson popped his clogs. Whilst we are still not allowed to mention the arch, the BeFuddleds agreed that, as the Illiberal Party hadn’t made any progress with the clock idea, perhaps they should.
And so it came to pass that the Smalltown Administration Guru (SAG) did prepareth a list of clock options, ranging in price from £3100 to £4600, and presented them to Councillors for a decision. As Nelson had only left £3000 in his will (a sum which at the time would have purchased a solid gold clock) Councillors agreed to go for the cheapest option.
There then arose the tricky question of where to site it, with several BeFuddled Councillors questioning where the water fountain in Smalltown is actually situated. When advised that it was near the Old Horse Trough they were none-the-wiser, when informed that the water fountain is near the Town Information Notice Board Councillors shrugged their shoulders and when told that it is near the Town Weather Vane, even Squire Teflon looked confused.
Eventually Councillors agreed to hold a meeting on the site to discuss possible positioning for the clock. If they can find their way to the location of the site meeting.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.