Smalltown and Dullbridge residents to be bankrupt by end of year

The All-New-Yet-Unimproved Somerset Cuonty Council has confirmed that it fully expects every resident in Somerset to be bankrupt by the end of 2023.

The news comes after the Cuonty Council confirmed their own hike of 4.99 percent in the amount of council tax payable by residents.

This adds to the seven percent increase from Smalltown and Dullbridge Town Council and the whopping 15 percent demanded by the Criminal Police Commissioner.

When the idea of abolishing the District Councils of Sadgebore, Mental, Toytown, and Somerset Rest and amalgamating them into one giant All-New-Yet-Unimproved Somerset Cuonty Council was first suggested residents were promised that this would lead to a streamlining of services and thus, savings.

However identified savings, such as a decrease in councillors, combining administration services and reducing the number of senior staff – all of which has led to a decrease in salaries and pensions – has been overshadowed by an increase in the amount needed to cover the cost of services for children and old people.

Vaughan Jason, the Cuonty Council’s In Charge of Mathematical Economics (INCOME), said “It’s been a real struggle to balance the books this year and the only way to avoid this Council going bankrupt is to bankrupt the residents instead.”

Residents can look forward to their new massive demand for money dropping through their letterboxes in March.

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