The recent meeting of the Smalltown and Dullbridge Town Council Town Unimprovements Committee saw councillors discuss the Smalltown Festival of Pops and Bangs to decide whether to budget for a similar event in 2023.
Chair of the committee, Smalltown’s Most Popular Person, Jock McCads told councillors “This is by far and away the most popular thing that this council spends council tax money on and always draws huge crowds.
In fact, it’s the only popular thing that this council spends council tax money on and which draws huge crowds. Everyone attending had a wonderful time.”
Cllr Catty Staring interjected “Apart from the dogs.”
Ignoring her Cllr McCads continued” “This year the event cost £9,400 but we will need to increase that to £14,000 because we need to ask other Bangs and Pops Companies to tender for the work for 2023 and although we’ve had a good deal from our current provider there may be a better deal out there which is more expensive.
Professional Fun Sponge and Cllr Patsy Knickers recoiled in horror saying “You do realise how terrible Bangs and Pops are for the environment? This Council really can’t declare a State of Emergency and then go all out to attempt to puncture the ozone layer.”
Cllr Catty Staring added “Not just the environment. They are terrible for dogs too.”
Ignoring her, Cllr Knickers continued “This is quite a lot of money and the only benefit to residents is to give them a bit of fun. This Council is not here to promote fun, especially when we are facing a Global Warming Crisis Disaster Armageddon.
I propose that SaDTC cancel the festival.”
Cllr Staring agreed, saying “Won’t somebody please think about the dogs? “
After several minutes of discussion, Councillors decided that they really couldn’t make their minds up, because deciding whether or not to hold a Festival of Bangs and Pops is really very difficult and it was agreed that they would defer the matter to a later date for further consideration.