9 things we’ve learned

As is the way of local media, whenever we find ourselves short of news (or in this instance reporters, because everyone is on holiday) we like to fill the column inches with completely pointless puff pieces, written to fill the gaps.

These often sound as if they are going to contain important information – the sort of insightful journalism that fills a gap in your knowledge – it rarely does.

Reporter Emma Pankhurst takes a look at the 9 things we learned during the last heatwave that may prove helpful when dealing with the current one.

9 things we’ve learned about the heatwave.

  1. It’s hot
  2. It’s very hot.
  3. People will be telling each other how hot it is.
  4. Social media will be full of posts mentioning the temperature and including a photo of a thermometer.
  5. The Department of Weather and Precipitation will issue an ‘Extreme Heat’ weather warning.
  6. It will be hotter in Smalltown and Dullbrisge than it is somewhere else in the world.
  7. The Daily Wail will print sensational headlines warning readers that it is hot and adding that some people may die.
  8. There will be dire warnings of drought conditions and a hose pipe ban may be declared.
  9. It will rain soon.

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