Founder, Director, CEO and Legend in his own Bedroom, Levi Smeller, has announced the cancellation of his Smalltown Pride – a Unique New Concept (SPUNC) at the eleventh hour.
In a statement Levi said “Hi guys. I’m really upset today because I’m going to have to cancel my SPUNC which was going to take place on Saturday at the White Elephant Enclosure. As you may know, Smalltown and Dullbridge Town Council refused my grant application to fund my event and although I’ve emptied all my piggy banks and searched down the back of the sofa I can’t find enough small change to pay for it myself.
I’m gutted to have had to cancel, especially as I’ve had a whole year to organise fundraising and sponsorship, but sadly my efforts at The Jetty, The Tramway and Blitz Social Club only raised around £300 and I spent half of that on merchandise printed with my name so that everyone knows how important I am.”
Levi went on to say that SPUNC will definitely be on in 2023, which means he now has another year to organise the event.
“I have to go now”, he continued, “there’s a large group of drag queens heading my way and they don’t look very happy. Probably because they want paying. If anyone wants me for anything other than payment I’ll be under the duvet in my bedroom.”
Couldn’t be more accurate if you tried. Haven’t met a more expensive Levi since the jeans!
Seriously (even in the real world) this man requires removal. He is dangerous and taking peoples money for his own ends. Not to mention the entire thing is set up for his own gratification and benefit. He would do better to go out and get a job and prove his talents rather than expecting everyone to fall at his feet. Because he ain’t all that.
Time to hang up your Levi’s, Levi!