Last, and most definitely least, we bring you Robert NotBothered, standing as an Independent candidate in Dullbridge and Smalltown Lumped Together for the All-New-Yet-Unimproved Somerset Cuonty Council.
NotBothered has already secured seats on both Smalltown and Dullbridge (SaD) Town Council and nearby North Bluntdrill parish Council and is hoping to make it a hat-trick.
“I have been not at all bothered with Dullbridge for many years, having been both a BeFuddled and, when they wouldn’t support my desire to be Mayor, I switched to become an Illiberal Party Councillor.
I’m a bit Marmite. You either like me or you don’t and a lot of people fall into the latter category. I have a habit of upsetting people by not listening to their views. Even my friends have told me they won’t be voting for me.
Together with my wife, Jane NotBothered, we have lived in Dullbridge for many years and as Councillors we have played a major role overseeing the town’s demise.
As a former tank commander I can bring my fighting skills to the All-New-Yet-Unimproved Somerset Cuonty Council and, although my main priority issorting out the war in Ukraine, I will use my experience to flatten the parts of Dullbridge that still remain standing.
I won’t be offering any free buns to anyone. However, I may well take all the free buns on offer, add them to the bags of food I make available to those on a low-income and sell them on via the food distribution scheme I run at Porland Community Hall. Some people have claimed that taking free food from the supermarkets and selling it on in this way is taking it from the mouths it should be feeding, but I see it as a fair way to distribute food evenly to those who can afford it.”