‘Love in a Smalltown’

Continuing our serialisation of Steve Gull’s sensational look at the loves and lusts of Squire Teflon.

The story so far…
Squire Teflon has helped Mistress Bones with funding for her dream to bring a world record beating Olympic-sized combined swimming pool and ice rink to Smalltown, in return for a favour or two or 16,000. They have agreed to keep their relationship a secret from significant others, friends and the residents and electorate of Smalltown.

Chapter Six

“Hello my love muffin. I bring great news!”

“You’ve left your wife?”

“No, not yet. But I have more money for you! My flock of sheep on the town council have agreed to your request for a further grant of £3000.”

“Oh that really is wonderful news. My dream of a world record breaking Olympic-sized swimming pool and ice rink, with associated theme park and pop concert really is going to come true. And it’s only cost the local council taxpayers £19,000.”

“I know, my love. You are so clever. We really do make a great team. Roll on opening night.”

A few months later…

The good folk of Smalltown watched in awe as construction of the World record beating Olympic-sized combined swimming pool and ice rink began.

Sadgebore District Council had agreed to forego a small corner of their car park and to waive any rental costs and the building work had begun in earnest, with the towering white plastic walls being erected very quickly.

Look!” Mistress Bones exclaimed, as she and Squire Teflon walked past the structure, late one evening, “They’ve managed to get an erection up faster than you can.”

Speaking of which….” he took her elbow and gently propelled her into her shop.

Emerging slightly dishevelled a few minutes later they joined the throng of excited spectators.

“It’s rather small, isn’t it?” said a voice in the crowd.

“No, it isn’t small.” The Squire shot back quickly, before realising they weren’t talking about his appendage.

“Not exactly Olympic-sized, is it?” another voice chimed in.

The Mistress turned her face to the Squire. Her bottom lip was trembling again. “My Squire – I don’t think they like it. They are laughing.”

As he gazed down at her face all he could think about was her quivering lips and the erection in front of him. “Let’s go back to your shop.”

Do you ever think of anything else? It’s opening night soon and it needs to be perfect.” she stamped her feet crossly.

“It will be okay, my love, it may look small at the moment, but in your hands it will be sure to improve. Ah. This is tricky. Would you mind standing behind me for a few minutes?”

“Behind you? Why?”

“There’s a woman heading this way. I don’t know why, but she thinks she’s in a relationship with me. It may be better if she doesn’t see us together. I mean, I’ve only slept with her a few times, so it’s not like it’s anything serious, but, well, we don’t want tongues to start wagging, do we?” As he spoke the last few words he felt a familiar twinge which reminded him that actually he’d quite like a few tongues to start wagging, but he successfully managed to push the thoughts and it down again.

“Why, hello my dear. How are you? I’m sorry I haven’t been to see you for a couple of days, but… err…umm… I’ve been busy with important council business.”

“I can see that.”, the woman said sharply, peering around his body to catch a glimpse of her love-rival. “Mistress Bones. Fancy seeing you here! I’d heard a few rumours around town and now I see…”

No, no, no. You’ve got it all wrong” he protested. “We are just close-friends with benefits. Nothing more.” He slipped his hand into hers. “Come on, let’s go for a walk. I’ve got a little favour to ask you.”

Mistress Bones watched as the two of them retreated up the Main street and then turned her attention back to her obviously not world record beating Olympic-sized combined swimming pool and ice rink.’ It’s not quite what I pictured,’ she thought to herself, ‘it’s a bit of a let down, if I’m honest. But then that’s typical of Squire Teflon. Never mind. It’s not long until opening night and that’s sure to be a huge success, with crowds and crowds of people turning up and long, long queues to get on the ice.”

Her mind turned back to her Squire. What on earth was he up to, cavorting with another woman. Was it really part of the elaborate cover-up that he’d warned her about at the start of their relationship? Was he pretending to be with someone else to distract from his affair with her? How long could they keep it a secret from family, friends and the electorate?

With her mind buzzing she headed for home. Alone.


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