Chapter One (of many).
Their eyes met across the crowded counter of the newspaper shop.
“Can I help you?” she asked, fluttering her eyelashes coquettishly.
“I’m sure you can“, he replied, licking his lips loquaciously. “We would make a great team, you and I. Me as Squire of all that I survey and you at my side, looking up at me with adoration in your eyes. We could be the next Posh and Becks.”
She giggled like a nervous schoolgirl.
“For now, I’ll take this copy of ‘Swingers Monthly’,” he continued. “I’m in the market for some new playground equipment.” he added hastily. “Would you mind putting it in a paper bag for me?
And if you’re not too busy later why don’t we meet up and share a bottle of Albanian Whisky? I have a car and the S&M carpark is quiet after the boy racers have left.”
“But Squire Teflon… I have a fiance.”
“Don’t worry about him. I have a wife. And several other lovers. I’m not worried about her or them. Besides, don’t you want to talk over your plans to bring an Olympic-sized sport and leisure attraction to Smalltown?”
“My idea to bring the best combined swimming pool and ice rink in the world to the town?”
“Yes that. I can get you funding for that.” He lowered his eyes to her ample cleavage, on display for all to see, “Although obviously you’ll have to give me something in return.”
Her chest pounded with giddy excitement, causing her bosom to heave like a drunk with food poisoning.
“Oh, Squire Teflon, Sir. Could you? Would you?” she replied, her voice breathless with emotion. “I’d do anything for you, and even more if you could help raise my profile from lowly paper girl to First Lady of Smalltown.”
“It’s a date.”
Picking up his copy of ‘Swingers Monthly’, now safely disguised in a brown paper bag, Squire Teflon lowered it down in front of his body until he was sure it was hiding his burgeoning manhood from prying eyes. ‘It might be small, but I don’t want to scare the old dears – they are my main supporters, after all.’ he thought to himself.
Turning on his heels he walked awkwardly out of the shop. “I’ll see you later, my love. Together we shall make sweet music and full use of all the available council grants.“
To be continued.
This is nearly as good as Dallas