Don’t miss this

Any residents who are not planning to wash their hair or watch paint dry are reminded that Smalltown and Dullbridge (SaD) Town Council will be hosting the Annual Towns Meeting, which is being held tonight from 7pm at the White Elephant Enclosure.

This is your chance to spend a couple of hours sat in an uncomfortable chair listening to Dictator Dullard drone on and on about where she has been, who she has spoken to, what it was “good to see“, and how many cups of tea she has consumed.

This will be followed by a short presentation by Sergeant Hardness from Somerset Police Force before SaD Town Council spend a couple of minutes putting a lot of spin on everything they had planned to do, but didn’t achieve, over the past year.

Following on from this residents have the opportunity to ask the Town Council any questions they may have about the work the Council has (not) been doing.

Although the Smalltown Administration Guru (SAG), Katie Global, has asked for questions to be submitted in advance to give staff and Councillors the chance to get their stories straight, this is not compulsory and residents have the right to closely question them on any decisions made and considered ridiculous. This also applies to any decisions which have not yet been made, but which have instead been deferred for further thinking and talking.

Any resident who is on the parish electoral roll is entitled to ask Councillors questions such as:-

  • Do Councillors genuinely belive that they have improved the lives of residents during their time in tenure?
  • Is the Council aware that Dullbridge exists?
  • Why are so few Councillors bothering to turn up to Council meetings?
  • Now that Dictator Dullard has admitted that her Yoof Council was a waste of time and money when is she going to admit that her Climate Rescue Action Plan (CRAP) Festival is just as popular?
  • Exactly what punishment was meted out by Deputy Dictator Cruella Sherry to Cllr Jock ‘Balcony’ McCads, following his conviction by The All-New-Yet-Unimproved Somerset Cuonty Council on charges of leering at the Smalltown and Dullbridge Smalltown Administration Deputy (SaDSAD), Eileen Mutton?
  • When are Councillors going to admit that they aren’t up to the job?
  • Why has do much money been spent and why is there nothing to show for it?
  • Why has the Town Unimprovements Committee been scrapped? Is it because the Council has neglected Smalltown and Dullbridge to such an extent that there’s now nothing left to unimprove?
  • How much longer are residents going to have to support paying the bulk of their Council Tax on the White Elephant Enclosure?
  • Do Councillors really think that the White Elephant Enclosure is a valid use of Council Tax Payer’s money, given that it’s been over ten years and over £1 million worth of the same mistakes?
  • Why wasn’t this year’s Annual Towns Meeting advertised more widely as promised by Dictator Dullard at the end of last year’s meeting?
  • How many bottles of Albanian Whiskey did Squire Teflon consume before attending the meeting? (please show your workings).

Cups of tea will be available to refresh any residents who make it to the end of the meeting.

(Please note that the Smalltown Culture and Arts Manager, Susie Cookbook, will be counting the number of people who attend and will be applying the Special SCAM mathematical equation (multiply by 4) and including this figure in her next User Number report to demonstrate how popular the WEE is.)

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