Large Crowd spotted in Smalltown

A Large Crowd headed to Smalltown Town centre on Saturday, as the Smalltown Chamber of Trade (SCOT) closed off Main Street and all the surrounding streets for the return of the Vintage and Veteran show.

Scores of Vintage Veterans were on display at the event, as several local Nursing and Care Homes brought their residents along for display. A SCOT spokesperson said “It was a very successful event, which massively increased the number of visitors to Smalltown town centre. Pizza shops, cafes and pubs were the main beneficiary as most of the entrances to shops were blocked off by exhibits and The Crowd.”

Visitor Penny Black said “I had a lovely time looking at all the Vintage Veterans. Shops? What shops? Were there shops?

Deputy Dictator Cruella Sherry took on the award presentation role after it was confirmed that, due to the half-term holiday, Headmistress Dictator Dullard was unavailable.

Deputy Dictator Sherry judged the entries and said” It was great to see the Large Crowd in Smalltown and Smalltown and Dullbridge (SaD) Town Council are delighted to have organised this event.

She chose 1960 Vintage Mr Andrew Handy as the recipient of the ‘Old Person the Judge Would Like to Take Home’ saying “I’ve picked a winner who is younger than me, because I’ve always fancied myself as a bit of a cougar.”

Mr Handy said “I’m a bit insulted actually. I hadn’t actually entered the event, I was only stood outside Griggs while my wife nipped inside for a sausage roll. I don’t think I’m old enough to be classed as either Vintage or Veteran.”

Several Smalltown traders said that the event hadn’t shown any improvement in sales,, but Squire Teflon and the BeFuddled Party Prospective Missing Person for the Smalltown and Dullbridge, Fridgpond Unitary Constituency (SaDFUC) Clara Scullery both said that it had been an excellent photo opportunity, with Clara telling SomersetClive “I am delighted to have been able to have my photo taken whilst yet again wearing my favourite lucky yellow jumper.

I spent some time telling everyone how great I am, as well as mentioning that only I can win in the SaDFUC constituency and a vote for either the Working Man’s candidate Ivor Redrose or the Illiberal Lord Pox is a waste. Did you know they both torture cats in their spare time?”

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