Dictator Dullard has confirmed that she is “disappointed” after the All-New-Yet-Unimproved Somerset Cuonty Council, confirmed that they were unable to give the go ahead to build a Play Pen on Smalltown’s South Esplanade, after reviewing the options.
The original plan had been supported by Squire Teflon as part of the Smalltown Tries A Little Enhancement (STALE) scheme. STALE had originally counted Councillors, business leaders and residents amongst its members and had been set up to spend money obtained from the Chernobyl Slush Fund on projects to enhance Smalltown.
However, Squire Teflon had decided that the ideas suggested by business leaders and residents did not conform to his vision for Smalltown (which was to spend as much of the money as possible to support the White Elephant Enclosure) and so all business leaders and residents were ejected from the group.
The Squire further decided that any meetings to consider ways to use the cash would be held behind closed doors. Thus preventing any comment from anyone who might criticise the scheme.
Working closely with the former Smalltown Head Administration Guru (SHAG), Tanya Summer, a Top Secret Consultant (and friend of Ms Summer) was employed to progress plans for the Play Pen, seeking ideas for play equipment and drawing up a plan which would see the area opposite Mendip Manor utilised as the site.
Whilst there is no doubt that Squire Teflon knew about the legal covenant which exists to protect the views of residents of Smalltown South Esplanade and in particular the residents of Mendip Manor, he failed to mention this to Ms Summer and the Top Secret Consultant also failed to discover the information – which everyone else in Smalltown knew all about after previous plans for a Crazy Golf Course on the tarmac area were refused.
With the Corvid Pandemic at its height, the SHAG failed to notify residents of Mendip Manor that Smalltown and Dullbridge (SaD) Town Council were seeking permission from land owners Sadgebore District Council for the development and, with no objections from residents to the scheme received, Sadgebore gave the go ahead.
Once the news was made public residents of Mendip Manor immediately invoked their Covenant, objecting strongly to the proposal and forcing Sadgebore back to the drawing board. The District Council proposed that the Play Pen be moved further along the Promenade, to a back of beyond area outside the back gate to Hellhole Holiday Park, greasing the palms of Hellhole by granting planning permission to put more caravans on the site.
Unfortunately, the Covenant covers the entire South Esplanade area from the Smalltown Area Ship Hovercraft and Helicopter (SMASHH) building to the Yachting Marina. Sadgebore found themselves having to seek advice from solicitors to find a way to possibly lift the covenant.
The proposed move added further costs to the project, costs which could have been avoided if the Squire had mentioned the Covenant, or if Ms Summer had sent details to residents in the area, or if the friend of Ms Summer had discovered the existence of the legal restrictions.
When Sadgebore merged into the All-New-Yet-Unimproved Somerset Cuonty Council the problem moved with it. In addition, the newly-in-control BeFuddled Party members of SaD TC were unaware of the background issues, nor did they question why any discussion of the matter had to take place without the details becoming public knowledge. In effect, everything carried on as it had before, with no one realising that it had become a lost cause the minute the Covenant came into play.
With ANYUSCC in financial free fall any spending has had to be curtailed, and the legal costs of lifting a watertight Covenant are believed to have been too expensive to continue and SaD Councillors were informed this week that there is no stomach to fight a losing battle.
With the news that the Play Pen Plan had floundered and finally sunk, residents of Smalltown and Dullbridge rushed to criticise the residents of Mendip Manor, unaware that the proposal was always doomed to failure and that if certain people hadn’t insisted on either sneaking around or had done their job properly, the scheme would never have progressed as far as it had.
Now it is left to the BeFuddled Councillors to face the criticism, whilst Squire Teflon once again gets off scot-free and can blame the BeFuddleds for the failure.
However, Dictator Dullard has confirmed that SaDTC will take up ANYUSSC’s offer to resite the proposed play equipment elsewhere in the area. However ANYUSCC has also made it quite clear that they will not pay to cover the costs of installing or maintaining it – that must come from a Town Council budget, but with £1 in every £5 of council tax spent on the White Elephant Enclosure, it is doubtful that any money can be found for this.