The names of the candidates who are hoping to win the election to fill the vacant seat in Smalltown and Dullbridge (SaD) Town Council have been revealed and unfortunately, it’s not good news for Dullbridge.
The Dullbridge by-election was called after former SaD Town Councillor, Captain Andy Rumm, resigned claiming that being in the same room as Dictator a Dullard and Deputy Dictator Sherry was making him distinctly unwell.
The Befuddled Party has announced that their candidate will be Lorna Barmy, a member of the Smalltown PRUDE (Pride – a Really Unique Diverse Event Team)
A BeFuddled Spokesfencepost said “We really wanted to find a retired teacher to fill the position, but all the available retired teachers in Smalltown and Dullbridge are already Town Councillors, so we had to think again. Despite asking everyone we knew, no one really wanted to do it, but Lorna came forward at the last minute, so we were rather grateful to her for that, because it meant we didn’t have to think and talk about it for ages.
Lorna ticks all the right boxes for us and, even though she hasn’t lived locally for very long, she does vaguely know where Dullbridge is.”
Meanwhile, the Illiberal Party has announced that their candidate will be Al Incendiary, currently an All-New-Yet-Unimproved Somerset Cuonty Councillor representing Dullbridge, although you wouldn’t know it as, along with his fellow Illiberal Cuonty Councillor, Jim Cock-Womble, he has yet to have done anything worthwhile for Dullbridge.
Representing the Working Man’s Party will be Kimberly Fierce. If elected Kimberly will join fellow Working Man’s Party Town Councillor, Ben Leftcame, in avoiding as many SaD Town Council meetings as possible.
It is not yet known if any of the candidates will bother to canvas residents in Dullbridge for votes, as it so long since there has been an actual election in Dullbridge that no one can remember how to do it.