Dictator Dullard and Squire Teflon are both understood to be ‘spitting feathers’ after Dullbridge residents asked for a by-election be called to choose a replacement for BeFuddled Party Councillor, Captain Rumm, who resigned last month after declaring that working with Dictator Dullard and Deputy Dictator Sherry was having a detrimental effect on his health.
Dictator Dullard was hoping to give the job to a friend, whilst Squire Teflon is believed to have agreed to consider a suggestion from InItForHimself Councillor Robert NotBothered that his wife, Former Sadgebore District Illiberal Party Councillor, Janet NotBothered, be approved as a replacement for Captain Rumm because “at least she has some sort of idea of what she’s doing.”
It is understood that Squire Teflon had already promised his close-friend and employer, Mistress Bones, that as soon as a seat came up he would push for it to be given to her, saying “There’s nothing I would like more than to give one to Mistress Bones.” Unfortunately Mistress Bones has already indicated that she doesn’t “want to represent the poor and would much rather have a Smalltown Posh seat.”
The All-New-Yet-Unimproved Somerset Cuonty Council has confirmed that the residents of Dullbridge have spoken with 94 letters having been received by the Department for Electoral Screwups.
A Notice of Election will be issued in November and will give details of when nomination papers need to be submitted. The election will take place on 18th December December and it entirely possible that Dullbridge will get an early Christmas present in the form of a candidate who will speak up for them and be worth voting for.