Yet another pat on the head

Councillor Robb Apprentice-Candlestick Maker received several pats on the head following his appearance at the Smalltown and Dullbridge Town Council Planning and Scheming Committee meeting on Wednesday night.

Talking about the momentous occasion and beaming with pride, Cllr Apprentice-Candlestick Maker said “it was an agenda item to be consulted on around the consultation about the removal of the phone box on white elephant street and the idea I put forward was met with agreements from all members of the planning committee, 1 public attendant and 1 person from the local press saying they like the idea.

Phone boxes are amazing. A great idea to help people talk to each other. I has been really impressed with how they work and if other people knew how they work they’d be really impressive too. They are really clever, although they do smell a bit. I don’t know why but Ive noticed that they all have the same smell.

But they still serve an importance in community. It might not just be to call your mum to come and pick you up to take you home to Fridgpond after a meeting, when you’ve forgotten your mobile phone or had it confiscated by a teacher, you can use phone boxes to call anyone.

But phone boxes alone are outdated. It needs a refresh, not just a lick of paint but much like the street hubs that British Telephones have been installing in some of the big cities!

Smalltown and Dullbridge must move with the times but also still have the ability to communicate where ever, whenever and however they want to or need to.”

Squire Teflon showed his appreciation of Cllr Apprentice-Candlestick Maker’s idea by rolling his eyes. He then nudged his fellow Illiberal Councillor Julia Slurry and big smiles broke out over both their faces, as they both struggled to contain their enthusiasm for the idea.

BeFuddled Councillor and Official Fun Polie Officer, Cllr Patsy Knickers, said “Well done, Robb. If Dictator Dullard were hear she would be particularly pleased that you’ve handed in your homework on time. I’m sure she will think it’s good and will give you a gold star.”

When the meeting finished Cllr Apprentice-Candlestick Maker approached several of the other Councillors and asked if there was any chance of a lift back to Smalltown. Unfortunately Professional Councillor Mark Facelift isn’t on the Planning and Scheming Committee, so Cllr Apprentice-Candlestick Maker had to use the White Elephant Street phone box to call his mum to come and pick him up and take him home.

(Note: All grammar attributed to Cllr Apprentice-Candlestick Maker’s is his own work.)

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