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It has been revealed that Squire Teflon’s recent public denunciation of the local BeFuddled Party didn’t stop there.
In an extraordinary outburst Teflon also launched an attack on the Smells Illiberal Association, after it was suggested that a party be thrown to celebrate Squire Teflon and his close-friend and employer Mistress Bones leaving the Smells Constituency for the newly formed Smalltown and Dullbridge, Fridgpond Unitary Constituency (SADFUC).
Squire Teflon told his fellow Illiberals “I don’t want vol-au-vents on the menu. I don’t want cocktail sausages or cheese and pineapple on sticks, stuck in a foil wrapped potato and pretending to be a hedgehog.
I know none of you have ever liked me and are glad to see the back of me, but I’d remind you that I have friends in high places. I’m certainly not going to let you mealy mouthed, lily livered, gutless drips celebrate the event.
It would be far better if you just gave me the money and I could spend it the way I want to. On Albanian Whiskey.”
A Spokesperson for the Smells Illiberal Constituency said” “It’s true. We can’t wait to see the back of him. His constant Albanian Whiskey-fuelled rants have been a nightmare.
Lately he’s been having these late night rants and the following morning he blames it on the Albanian Whiskey – as if that makes his behaviour excusable.
He’s been attacking anyone and everyone. He even had a go at our Missing Person, Tim Teepee, telling him that he was a waste of space. Which may be true. But he’s a bigger and more important waste of space than Teflon will ever be.
Teflon needs to remember that he’s a very tiny fish in a small sea.”