Residents ‘baffled’

Residents in Smalltown and Dullbridge (SaD) have been questioning why an All-New-Yet-Unimproved Somerset Cuonty Council authorised tractor was seen moving piles of sand from the top of the beach down to the tide line last week.

Sandy Shore contacted the SomersetClive office to say “What’s going on? Why are they moving sand? It seems totally futile to me. Don’t they realise the incoming tide will just move it back to where it came from?”

Larry Lugworm thought he had the answer “I believe this is the start of a new idea to rival Easton-under-Water’s motorcycle beach race. Except the Smalltown Beach Race will only be open to bicycles.”

Hugh Beech commented “Is this an attempt to get Smalltown in the record books with an attempt on the World Record for the biggest sandcastle?”

Following an extensive piece of investigative journalism, SomersetClive can reveal that this is the latest attempt by Dictator Dullard to impose her will on Smalltown and Dullbridge.

The SaD Town Council Smalltown Administration Guru (SAG) , Katie Global, told us “Yes. Dictator Dullard has had enough of that dirty, smelly tide coming in twice a day and depositing rubbish on the tide line. Dictator Dullard says the tide simply isn’t environmentally friendly and had therefore decided that we must do everything we can to stop it.

These new barriers, created entirely from sand, are the first weapon in our armoury. If this doesn’t work then Dictator Dullard has issued instructions to the Town Rangers that they are to carry her Mayoral Chair down to the beach and she will forcibly instruct the tide to go back to whence it came.”

Rumours that Squire Teflon will be selling tickets to this momentous occasion are believed to be unfounded.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *